HEARTC♡RE

Hi guys! 2026 is here and I am so excited! I've spent the last two weeks on PTO (my company closes between Christmas and New Year) and I vlogged those daily adventures on TikTok. I really had the best time spending quality time with friends and family, eating yummy food, crafting, drinking at holiday bars, reading outside, going on walks, window shopping. . . real shopping - just making the best of every hour of the day. 

This year I am really excited to continue diving into some of the hobbies and interests that found me, or came back to me, in 2025. I feel like 2025 was getting a little taste of the vibes and 2026 is just a full embodiment of . . . the vibes of. . . me??? And I do say me, because sometimes we, I, the internet, are like clean girl, hot girl, vampire girl, punk girl, soft girl, boss babe, etc. And I get stuck in the loop of trying to box myself in. For example, when I want a sweet treat - I try to police myself by asking - is this skinny girl behavior? - and then I come back and think "no, who cares, this is Melissa girl behavior and she's gonna have a sweet treat right now" and just keep it moving. So what is Melissa's 2026 energy?

I saw a few "were bringing 2016 back" but for me, it's giving 2006 energy. 5th grade - playing in the creeks by the house, raising caterpillars to butterflies, reading Highlights magazine, children's place clothes (lmao), going to the library and spending the whole time in the language section, a pet rat, obsessed with wanting my own room, magnifying glasses during recess, spending money at the scholastic library, eating croutons like chips, Lisa Frank stationary, keep a fish tank and taking care of little fry, and so on. It's going to be all the aforementioned vibes, but elevated to someone who is in their early 30s and with a little more spare change - travel to see butterfly colonies, learn a new language, read a lot of meaningful books, make my own croutons, work towards my own place, frequent the river. What can I call this? Why do I want to call it something? Can you even get the vibes or is it a stretch? I am looking forward to what I call regressing but it'll also be a time of enrichment... lol I'm droning on now. 

Anyways, one 2026 goal I do have. . . . and have every year. . . is to blog more. To start, at least once a month but hopefully more frequently. 

If you're out here realllyyy thinking we live in a post racial society. . you need a stark reality check. but anyways-




"On the morning of September 4, 1957, fifteen-year-old Dorothy Counts set out on a harrowing path toward Harding High, where-as the first African American to attend the all-white school – she was greeted by a jeering swarm of boys who spat, threw trash, and yelled epithets at her as she entered the building.

Charlotte Observer photographer Don Sturkey captured the ugly incident on film, and in the days that followed, the searing image appeared not just in the local paper but in newspapers around the world.

People everywhere were transfixed by the girl in the photograph who stood tall, her five-foot-ten-inch frame towering nobly above the mob that trailed her. There, in black and white, was evidence of the brutality of racism, a sinister force that had led children to torment another child while adults stood by. While the images display a lot of evils: prejudice, ignorance, racism, sexism, inequality, it also captures true strength, determination, courage and inspiration." Source
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I saw this photo set & caption on my dashboard not too long ago. It sparked some thoughts on how desensitized we've become to slavery, the civil rights movement, and generally any movements that have challenged the racial status quo. I think we are all full and aware that the Civil Rights Movement was only 50ish years ago but it's so easy to just be like "oh, yeah it happened" like it was a piece of freaking cake. This isn't to say it isn't happening in 21st century America (it clearly is), but damn. I mean, look at the photos of Dorothy Counts again. How utterly disgusting is this? Please tell me it stirs something in you? Ms. Counts is as bad as ever btw:


The people at the school? Most of them are also alive and well (*coughs* they were the ones running governments and various critical institutions not too long ago, probably yesterday). As the caption reads this is some brutal sh**. All the power to Ms. Counts because I, never in a million years, could have had the strength and poise that she displayed. I still think many of these brutally racist sentiments are, like the children in the photo, alive and well. They are just more subtle. Well, I can't even say that. . . . how many times have we gone online (twitter/FB/etc) only to read people spew absolute and utter BS. I don't think we give those who put (literally) their lives on the line enough regard or admiration.

I live in Atlanta, and with its rich history it is almost embarrassing that I have not taken advantage of all the resources, museums, and information that is available to me by living here (I toured MLK's home & the museum when I was younger). The latest memory related to this topic is of visiting the National Center for Civil and Human Rights (same property as the Aquarium & Coca Cola which I highly recommend!!!). There is one segment in the Civil Rights portion where you recreate a "sit in". There is a mock lunch bar, you take a seat, place your flat on the counter (at your sides), while wearing headphones. The audio that plays is a sample of the taunting that these activists would have to endure. It is brutal, moving, I was shaking and left in tears.

BUT ANYHOW, I really can't even say how I feel about this so I will just sum it up with: respect and thankfulness. Respect for what I wrote above. Thankfulness because the African American civil rights movement were the ones that pushed, made the breakthrough, and helped paved the way for and inspired other civil rights movements (ex. Brown Berets/American Indian Movement). Click this link to read how both movements worked hand in hand and supported each other.

Another negative post. So, I (surprisingly LOL) don't have many regrets. Whatever mistakes I've made, I know were part of the learning process, getting older, and life in general. Shit happens. But one thing I always regret, and even now is not reading enough. NOT READING ENOUGH. NOT READING ENOUGH. I mean novels, poems, short stories, news articles, textbooks, magazines, everything. I am trying to think of which I feel I have missed out the most on, but I can't decide. Since I am an IA major, I'm going to go with the news and my university textbooks. You know sometimes you wing it in class? or on exams? I wish I hadn't "winged" it, no matter how well or bad I did, so it wouldn't put me behind in my upper level classes. Like I said, as an IA major (and I'm sure it's the same with other studies) we always get assigned the latest editions of all texts (reason they're so expensive?) and I just 100% feel like I missed out.



I know it's never to late get started, but still makes me feel SAD. I just feel I would be 100 times more knowledgable and therefore be able to hold some slight amount of intellect. Which I'm not sure if I've mentioned but that being a proper intellectual is like my dream (and no, not like being a world renowned philosopher but having the ability to have an above elementary level discourse).

But anyways, If you're just starting university or in high school please read. Or listen to podcasts, watch the news, do something else than stay on social media all day. Honestly, I hate the people who shit on millennials about our phones and technology etc etc. I think they're bitter salty sour sweet lmao whatever, but I think it's not about putting our phones down per say but balancing what we spend our time on. And this 100% applies to me, I have like so many news apps on my phone but the ratio of how much time I spend on those apps compared to social media ones are like 1:45 LOL. And it's not to say you can't get the topics of substance on social media, on the contrary, I think FB, Twitter, Tumblr, IG are great outlets to get a quick synopsis of whatever current event or topic. But, I do think that we need to then take the next step to find more credible and legitimate sources. There are so MANY articles I see shared on FB that come from like these super whack homemade websites, I don't know how people can believe or maybe they just see the headline, share, and not even click on the source.



Also, we can't always trust mainstream media and allllll the news outlets we come across but it gives us a start and you can read multiple sources to see which one you believe is less biased and doesn't have a specific agenda. And again I think reading the facts and gaining that knowledge allows you to begin to thinking critically and objectively, thus giving you the ability to come to your own conclusions and positions without depending on whatever happens to come your way.

I am thinking that I am obsessed with this idea, because being knowledgable and having an intellectual capacity is something I value. SO I have to wrap my head around the fact that there's people who literally don't give a shit, and I'm not saying it's a bad thing (or am i??). It's just something that's hard for me to process since it's not my style. Then again, do I really value it? Because I obviously don't put out the effort necessary.

Still, can you imagine how collective a society we would be if everyone took like at least an hour a day to catch up on the latest news? Like how much more progressive would we be if the average American wasn't so ignorant? (I count myself in the ignorance). Well I'm going to take back my ignorant American comment, and only speak about my personal experience. And in that experience, I feel the people who land in my demographic and community lack introspective and general awareness. Those who loooook like they have a clue, and are the ones who seem to influence our demographic the msot, come across to me as pseudo intellectuals. TBH, I don't want to jump and say that's always the case and if anything they're doing more than I have ever attempted. I hope I am wrong, but from what I have seen these are my experiences and it does discourage me at times.
BUT, I am part of this demographic and I crave change so how many more feel the same?

I love how this started about me being upset at myself than I just come and shit on everyone. I may just be using my own sentiments of my role and projecting them onto everybody else. Nonetheless, I am sure everyone believes there is room for improvement.

On improvement: sort of what is in the little paragraph above goes back to a post I wrote back in March for last year (click here, & read the 2nd paragraph). That paragraph is more my personal solution to what I just elaborated in above. I think it has to be grassroots led though less political but will gradually (and inevitably) take on that element. And who better to mobilize it, but it's own people? We who understand our communities' deep underlying problems and have the proper means to communicate with each other and the even smaller sects within? Rather than someone coming from a distant position who may not have the proper tools to really understand and can have conflicting interests?


I have been really vague on which of my communities falls specifically with what I'm saying, but I think it's better that way. If you click the March post I linked then you'll see. I've been ALL over the place, but one thing just leads to the other and it's hard to stop. I hope I didn't sound like a dumbass, but these are my thoughts for the night.

I am sure there are 100,000 sides to this that I cannot see ATM so as I learn more and understand what the causes, outcomes, obstacles, etc are, I will write another blog post that will either back this one up or completely discredit everything I have just said. I have learned that that is many times the case. This is why I am writing it on my blog as personal thoughts as opposed to saying it's a fact. BTW This was supposed to be a quick statement on my regrets of not reading more in my first few years of uni but I went a bit far. 

Tl;dr-

• I regret not reading what has been made available to me & using it as a form of self improvement
• I understand that it's not everyone's cup of tea and not everyone has a desire to read and learn ideas that don't directly concern them (or even those that should)
• Millennials (and hey, older gen too) take advantage of the sources available to you, learn to balance entertainment and topics of substance
• Would we see all around improvement if all Americans dedicated more time to reading current events and other sources that contributed to self improvement (as opposed to our usual vapid content)?
• I see lack of awareness, that I believe comes with the same lack of education/reading within my community, I believe it has harmful consequences and what can we do at a local level to move forward.