On Long Distance Relationships: Cultural Differences (MCT💌 ATL)

Thursday, January 05, 2017

Read Part 1.
Part 2.

I'm currently in a long distance relationship (LDR). There are different kinds of long distance relationships, mine is romantic, international, & thus perpetually distant. So here is a little insight into what it's like.

Both my parents are Mexican, but I am American born. I don't know whether or not I am more Mexican or American, so I'll settle for half and half. I would say my culture is more Mexican, but I speak English, have been to a baseball game (once), and like microwavable meals (lol). My boyfriend (I didn't even ask his permission for this post, asif) is Omani and from the capital. I will refer to myself from here on out as Mexican, because I feel that's more where my morals and values align to. . . . or do they? I will just say yes to simplify this process

I've come to the conclusions that Mexicans and Omanis have more in common with each other than they each do with Americans (white American).

  • multiple kids, big families, emphasis on gatherings of extended family members
  • older siblings take care of the little ones, I think there's an expected added responsibility
  • conservative views on sexuality and birth control 
  • tougher on gender roles
  • some language
  • stricter parents, obeying them past age 18-20
  • living with your parents till whatever age is normal
  • leaving home until you're married
  • stricter rules for daughters as opposed to sons
  • religion heavily intertwined with culture
  • Omani shewa and Mexican barbacoa
  • try to haggle prices, bargaining
  • soccer fanatics
  • superstitious
  • both wear chanclas religiously
  • traditional to have church or mosque wedding first

  • religion itself: Islam vs Catholicism 
  • Mexicans are more free to date, breakup, and repeat
  • Omani men have the possibility to have more than one wife, up to four (has it's restrictions and guidelines) 
  • Omanis don't eat as spicy
  • Mexicans eat pork
  • Mexican women are louder and more vivacious in public
  • Omani men are more romantic
  • Mexicans are dog people
  • Omanis are cat people
  • Omani couples show little to no PDA
  • Mexicans are practically having sex on the bench
  • Omani men pay a dowry to their prospective wife (cha-ching, jk)
  • Omanis make it a point to give back whenever they receive big blessings (new job, car, promotion) as a sign of gratitude and to ward off envy
  • Mexicans are more vulgar in their actions and way of speaking
  • Omanis have split gender weddings
Listed above is a general comparison of Omani and Mexican cultures.

Cafe de Olla (literally pot coffee) & Pan Dulce

Dates & Qahwa (Omani Coffee) 

For us, and in this stage of our relationship, we both agree and see eye to eye on most matters we've discussed. These include tough ones like abortion, gender roles, sexuality, identity, religion. We've even jumped the gun and talked about raising kids, household life, work, and how to manage and spend our time. It might be a little soon, but it's important to see how the other person thinks early on and see if you're compatible. Get a head start.

I think the few times we've disagreed, it was on what was appropriate and what was not appropriate to post on social media. I think this stemmed more from personal tastes, but it was probably our respective culture that reasoned it (It was my American side arguing😉). Thinking of it now, the times I am forced to side eye him or give him a look (through the phone) is when it's my American side, but I understand him or see where he's coming from, from my Mexican side.

I don't think we are so culturally different because we both have conservative experience and thought processes, but we (probably I more than him) have also had strong Western influences and have grown as people to take on more liberal ideals. We have both traveled so I think that helps with breaking outside our little bubbles of what's right and wrong and it has exposed us to different possible lifestyles. We'll 100% bump heads, but I think it would be more as a result of our personalities than cultures.

🐝 Melissa
Thanks 🍯 & 🐘 for the help. 

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