New Year Update

Wednesday, February 03, 2016

Hi all, I am so sad I didn't keep posting as I wish or finished making some of the posts I had lined up.

To catch you up, I've been in Atlanta since the 12th and began university classes the next day. So that's where I'm at now.

It's 4am and I really want to sleep, but it's too late and I have an 8am class and I will wake up worse if I sleep now. So I'm going to distract myself for the next few hours.

I am really going through something I'm not sure what it is. Somedays I feel so positive and motivated for the future, but other days I feel so distressed and fearful. I think it's such a contradiction, my motivation is the catalyst to the detrimental thoughts. I have thoughts for example, I want to do this. Then I think of what it takes to get there and then I think "well that's not really plausible" then chip at my goal.

I don't know if it's fakeass senioritis where I just want university to be over with (I am so done) and kind of be away from that particular responsibility BUT only to be catapulted into another. So what is the point? And then I think of like my after university career/job (career pls) and I feel so inadequate and under qualified. Like majorly. I've wanted to blog this for so long, but I feel it is way too personal?

I would never want my friends to feel this way, so why do I wallow in self pity? I know I have potential, but I just haven't found my niche and I am so desperate.

Can I turn this into a ~sad~ blog LOL
As I said it's 4am so I will most likely regret this post but YOLO it is how I'm feeling ATM, so I think it's quite valid.

You Might Also Like