HEARTC♡RE

Montezuma's Revenge? More like Pakal's revenge. 

My biggest misconception about my own body is that I have a stomach of steel. Day 6 into my trip to Chiapas, I woke up with GI issues that have lasted me up to today (Day 11). Alhamdulillah, it isn't that serious, but it's probably the worst I have ever felt related to GI. Day 1, I felt weak, had a pang in my stomach equivalent to severe anxiety, loose bowels (:-D), headache and I felt lethargic. I took Mexican medication and it prevented me from having to use the bathroom, which was a Godsend because we were still traveling via Sprinter, 20 deep, hours away from home and sightseeing. Day 2 madrugada - it hit me all at once and I was the last one on the Sprinter that morning. Again, my body came through and kept all the noise at bay until I got home. Next day felt a little better, but still reeling from the hit to my body. I could not sleep at night from the pressure in my abdomen and finally I figured out that I just need to burp it all out (terrible sulfur burps). I was also coughing a lot of phlegm at night. I thought this was a separate issue, but after a quick Google it happens when the stomach acid rises to your esophagus. Then, I thought I had surpassed it all and on the road to recovery (Day 4). Now Day 5 and 6 I am back down. I'll spare you the details (well you have most of them), I can only be thankful that I have been spared vomiting. Now, everything I eat bloats me to such high discomfort, it is borderline painful. I cannot wait for this to end. But, I also have anxiety so my mind spirals a bit and toys with the idea that I caught a bug that will cause me chronic GI issues. . . but no, it will go away soon. The first bout of sickness, I do theorize was due to a virus/bacteria but after I got a bit better I will blame it on my diet - I am eating spicy, irritating, inflaming foods and a lot of sugar . . . I am definitely not helping the cause . . . might as well be throwing wood to the fire!

I am mostly surprised (not really) that there's still new bacteria that got me, when I have traveled to Mexico my entire life and if anything, I come from a pueblo and I have never gotten sick. Well it's never too late and you're never safe :-). FYI, aware I can get salmonella and e.coli in the US :'-). I just thought the Mayan spirits would spare me due to my good vibes.

After typing the above, I went on the internet and I think I know what parasite I am working with.... AHHHHHH. May be Giarda. You guys know I am a ride it out kind of girl (I recognize this is a mistake) so not looking forward to going to the pharmacy to get my one dose to help me out :-D (I am so silly....). Anyways, Google Giarda - he's a scary looking little sucker. 

Yesterdays food: spicy chilaquiles that I felt burn the lining of my stomach, a cherry ICEE, two scoops of sorbet, half a red bull, (I am pregnant with bacteria gases at this point), pizza, potato wedges, and a margarita . . . 

On to my diet of bland baby foods for the next week I guess. . . . .

On Tropical Diseases. I recently read a couple books on mosquitos and of course their whole schtick and purpose on this earth is to be vectors of diseases (please ask me and give me mosquito book recs). I was excited to come to Chiapas because it is one of the southern states that is susceptible to tropical diseases (don't get me wrong, we have some further up north too but Chiapas is always on the intake survey before you donate blood). Over chilaquiles yesterday, I asked my Chiapaneco brother in law about the status of malaria in the state and he laughed and said that's an African thing and equivalent to asking about Ebola. I was not very surprised to hear this since malaria is a rare disease, at least in North America, and with sustainable efforts for full eradication. Thankfully, he is a big Googler so immediately, he began reading out loud that malaria is present in Latin America, including Mexico in the states of Chiapas and Campeche. 

I found this website that's going to clearly be my newfound obsession. You can click by region and it is showing you real time Malaria risks by country. https://atlasvisualdelamalaria.org/paises/malaria-mexico/

But Malaria isn't the only tropical disease in Chiapas and the surrounding states. See CDC table below from the Mexico 2026 Yellow Book (I omitted the other Mexican regions but you can click to redirect you to the page). 

I decided . . . . . . .  a post a day for the month of Mayo. Very ambitious but maybe I write an essay or maybe I just say hi.

Let's talk about my traffic ticket. Back in mid-March, I was on my way to the office and decided to take a little detour to grab a coffee 🤓. Well, unfortunately for me, there was a Sheriff behind me, as soon as the light turns green HIS lights came on and I'm like ?? the fuck. Thankfully he didn't turn on the siren because that would've just been SOooO EmbARRASinG. I pull into a parking lot and he tells me he pulled me over due to an expired tag. I truly entered the twilight zone, because officer you must be mistaken - I most definitely have everything in order. So I tell him (yeah I'm shaking in my boots LOL), "officer, I totALLy believe your system but there's NOOO way - may I check?" and bless him, he lets me shakily ruffle through my paperwork (he knows damn well my tags expired) and he's like "no need to be nervous" - I shoot him a stare (no I don't) and keep ruffling. Anyways, he spots my insurance and he's like at least you have insurance (yes officer I'm not some riff raff) and he's like let me get your license. He comes back a short time later - gives me my citation💀 and calls me Miss Ortiz (this has been happening to me since middle school). Y'all I am SICK about this. . . I can't remember if I actually pass by for my coffee at this point or drive back in silence. But I am SICK because ironically, Yuri and I had a conversation about expired tags AND AND I had just taken my moms car for an emissions test and renewed like 3 vehicles/trailers at the tag Kiosk at Kroger.... so that's what sucked that it was NOT intentional. But this is the rollercoaster we call life you know. The officer told me if I got my tag renewed within 10 days the judge may be nice to me, regardless I did it the same day because I really had no business breaking the law. 

In the days before my surgery I went up to the court to ask about resolving my ticket - it had been like 13 business days and they still hadn't loaded me into the system.... so I decided to just wait until my court date which was today. I'm the first in line 🫡 and one of the staff grabs my paperwork and places it on the docket. I'm hoping I am up first because your girl needs to get to work and really, I am just not trying to be there till 10am. So while I am sitting in the pews I am practicing how I am going to deliver my plea for a lighter *sentence*, and thinking about how I have to refer to someone as "Your Honor" like I'm some peasant from the 1500s. So I have my ChatGPT lines memorized to about 90%, when the clock strikes 8:30am - and the prosecutor (I am assuming here) calls me up and asks me how I want to plea. I mouse out a "guilty - but I want to speak to the judge" and he's like they're just going to make you pay the fine anyways, and I started mumbling (y'all know how I do) about how I got my tag renewed and he's like You got your tagged renewed? Let me see, and I start YET AGAIN SHAKILY RUFFLING my two documents and he takes a quick glance and he's like I am going to give you a warning this time. :D :D BOY! My good luck has waned down over the last 6 years so this was literally a miracle. So I give him a  little *insert concerned Ariana grande eyebrows here* "thank you" and I went on my merry way. 

Guys, I am reminded DAILY - DAILY - that I am old now and today was no exception. As I am walking out of the building onto Marietta Square I think "today's my luck day, I better stop and get me a lottery ticket" 😾

God what a scary word!!! :-( Well to fill you in, that's what I am dealing with right now. Don't want to leave you in suspense - I am fine!!! Let's take it from the top.

It's borderline embarrassing to say that this started a little over two years ago now. At the time, I was doing kettlebell exercises and one day I felt a hardness on my back, after showing everyone they're like it's totally a muscle knot. When I went to my regular physical, my doctor said it's probably a muscle knot and to get it massaged, but that she could put an order for an ultrasound in too to confirm. Guess who didn't schedule an appt?? :D 

So anyways time passes on, don't really pay it much mind and don't even remember I have it to be honest. But then this summer, I do a bit of a lifestyle change and lose some weight around my waist or whatever so she's like visible and I am now aware of her presence. I have my physical coming up so I bring it up to the doctor. I say it during the first intake convo/catch up and she's casually like yeah we can check it out and put in that ultrasound request too if needed. Okay, cool cool cool. So she comes over to do the actual physical and as soon as she sees it she's snapping pics and is like okay can you get an x-ray any time today, just so we know what it is before the weekend (it's Friday). And I'm SICK baby, SICK. 20% sick she's suddenly alarmed, 80% sick I didn't do this shit in 2022 . . . (if you need something checked out, go 'head and do it after you finish reading this).

So, I usually take the day off to do all my appointments and had an hour and a half gap between this and my Gyno appt, so I ask if it takes long and they say no so I rush over to the imaging center. Although the x-ray tech didn't SEEM to concerned with my results, I still cried driving 75 North LOL on the way to my next appt. So now it's my Gyno's turn to check me out and she sees it and all casually she's like "Do you think you're going to get that removed" and I'm like okay okay she seems casual and she was! she said it's no biggie. But technically I still don't know that for sure. 

So anyways my primary doctor sees the inconclusive x-ray results and puts in an ultrasound request, I go to my ultrasound and again doesn't really show anything (technically good news!!) and I have some good banter with this tech and he's like yeah probably not anything but of course he's not the final say. So anyways I'm kinda cruising/kinda chill but WHAT IS IT??

So again, primary doctor needs more info so she sends me for an MRI and the results come in and one of the comments say this - 

I think I'm working between an apple and a grapefruit

Well last night after 3 or 4 days of back pain, I can't find a comfortable position to be in bed because it feels achy and like I am going to trigger a spasm. So I decide to lay with my stomach on the floor, my logic is its hard and flat and will help lengthen my spine the most and not be as strained?? Well I am there on the floor for like an hour, between a cries and a sobs (I can LOL now, no worries). 

I mean, I am a self proclaimed drama queen so in moments like these I have a hard time separating what's me wallowing in my self pity and what actually warrants being in a dark room crying in fetal position. Well does anything really warrant that?? But the floor was for posture assistance not the drama production. It's not really the pain itself, but the fact that - 

• why is it suddenly hurting- 
• is there long term damage on my spine or nerves as we speak?!
• do I need to alert the authorities or can I endure it in silence, I would endure in silence because:
• a trip with important events coming up - in less than a week and a half
• it's non refundable (yes $$ is the least of my worries but it was my parents GIFT to me and its naturally a stress factor)
• my bff also booked her month long non-refundable trip 
• if I have to cancel my trip to schedule my surgery sooner than later, I would ruin the peace of mind for the people that care about me most and they couldn't enjoy their trip
• just not mentally prepared for surgery or have all my ducks in a row
• work shit (yes I am a corporate overlord sympathizer) 

It must be fate that I lose an (entire) toenail every few years in a foreign country. In 2011, I went to Nicaragua for a mission trip to help in building more infrastructure in a small community. We had a day off and went to the beach. We had some lunch and hopped into the water. That day the waves were out of control. So at one point, the waves come in so hard that it takes us (friends and myself) tumbling under the waves for probably only a few seconds, but it felt like a lifetime. I remembering thinking, I'm either going to drown or get pulled into the ocean. After it settled and we all popped out, some were out of breath, another's top hand come off, and myself, well i hit a rock and lost a toenail. Wiped it off clean.