HEARTC♡RE

Still logging on MyFitnessPal (add me @ melissa_ortegar)!

So I last blogged Tuesday, a little over a week ago. That Thursday morning Yuri and I drove up to Winston Salem, NC to visit one of our best friends! We came in with the mindset to not pig out as much, but at the same time I hadn't seen my friend since last year so I decided I was going to enjoy myself if anything came up 🌝.
We didn't do as bad as we thought. I think the extent of it was a large McDonalds big mac meal. . . . too many cheese and crackers? of course eating outside my hours- oH AND for me almost a full bottle of a LARGE wine and about five shots of vodka. . .  definitely not my proudest moment but I was chill. I knew I wasn't going to drink for a long time so I think I just took advantage of being off the horse (yeah, don't do that). We were there for four days and when I came home I think I was just up a pound 🙃.

We drove back down Monday and got home around 8pm. That night and all of Tuesday and Wednesday I felt SO shitty and depressed. There was just like a dark cloud over me and I felt so SAD. For now it's gone, even though it was not provoked by anything I'm going to make sure I don't get into a funk like that again- I'm being proactive 😉

Food wise I need to step it up. Earlier this week I went grocery shopping and I just got some essentials. Eggs, cereal, oatmeal, whole grain bread, turkey, milk, etc etc (don't know why I felt compelled to share something everyone does regardless lmao??). Last week I was eating the Strawberry Special K that was already at my house, but I preferred the fruit and berry so I got that. Verdict? It was just way sweeter than I remember it. Blegh. Today I sprinkled some on top of my oatmeal, since on its own it is very very plain.


But for example- yesterday I had a banana, oatmeal, yogurt, grapes, and berries. For dinner I went to Burger King (mostly for my siblings) and I had a chicken salad (ok..?) then I WAS LIKE WELL I'LL ORDER MEDIUM ONION RINGS AND BUFFALO SAUCE TO DIP THEM IN SINCE I STILL HAVE CALORIE WIGGLE ROOM *sigh*. Thankfully (lol) I ate about.... five.... before I was like okay no (my whole life always boils down to: I could be doing so much better).

post workout

We were walking three miles last week and now we're doing four- it's just a little extra but you can feel it. Plus the trail is beginning to feel shorter (whew). I am jogging much more than before, but I want to improve. Since we do this daily I'm sure I'll be where I want to be sooner than later. Today, I went to the store and bought some new sports bras, socks (hehe), and a yoga mat! I've wanted one for a while, but just for the sake of having one. Now, I find myself wanting to do some basic workouts at home but I don't want to be directly on the hard floor. So I'm excited to put it to good use (i'll let y'all know how it goes).

So I was like "ehhh" 🤭 about saying my weight because that's how shocked I was about it (but let's be real here I saw it coming). ANYWAYS, I really don't care because what changes if I say it? May 8th I was legit mortified and had a text breakdown with Yuri, I weighed 201.6lbs 🤮.  Today, June 1st I weighed 192.2lbs. Even though it's been three weeks it feels like nothing has changed? I mean its only 9lbs so no big changes will show but I have to remind myself 9lbs is SOMETHING.

Still doing what I mentioned in the last post.
I (re)downloaded MyFitnessPal and I'm counting calories, currently staying under 1600 cal. It's supposed to be the deficit necessary for a 2 pound a week loss, but an amount I'm comfortable consuming nonetheless.
I feel like my weight was slowly decreasing but this morning it went back up. Although I definitely don't eat like I did before, I have been giving myself more leeway then I did the first week in terms of food and I missed some timings this weekend. I'm going to return to that discipline and hopefully see some change. I still feel/look the same, but my skin has gotten better!

I'm also logging my exercise! Which I said would be the most difficult part.


Since Thursday, Yuri and I have been on the Silver Comet Trail walking about three miles everyday. We're just getting started, but the motivation and companionship is there so I am optimistic. We started off walking and now that we're getting into the groove of things we're beginning to jog some parts. I can't wait to get more stamina and confidence and pull out the bikes!
Although we don't actually run out of things to talk about, only so much happens in less than 20hrs (& we still text during those hours lol). We decided to spice things up by doing a lil duo bookclub. We're picking a book and reading a chapter before meeting so we can have something of substance to discuss. We decided on The Alchemist, but it doesn't have chapters so. . . . we'll figure it out. I read it in high school, but I want to read it with a different perspective. Yuri has read a bit of it so she'll get to complete it.


Overall, I'm a little blegh for the small mistakes I've made- but taking it as a helpful lesson!
- Melissa 💖

Last week's post focused more on the reasons for tackling my weight, rather than the nitty gritty.

So a peek into my problem areas, diet change, and goals.

What I did (majorly) wrong:

First of all my sleep schedule was so off. I fell asleep around early morning and woke up mid afternoon. The times weren't exactly consistent and this led to erratic meal times.

Thankfully I don't eat out as much as I used to (my weight has been rising for the last several years). I have definitely been eating more of my mom's cooking. I do think my portion sizes fluctuate with the day's mood. After watching videos of other people's struggle with their weight, something very obvious dawned on me. Although I had relatively normal portioned and healthy dinner meals, I binge ate multiple times a week and always late at night. This ranged from a large meal from McDonalds, a pack (or two) of instant noodles, or just snacks like chips, candy, soda (all at once).


Apart from late night binging- when I do go out to eat or there is something extra yummy around I have, more often than not, a hard time controlling myself from overeating. I just keep at it.
*I don't suffer from Binge Eating Disorder*

Other than necessary day to day activity, I am very inactive! I spend about 8-10 hours just sitting on my bed (sleep not included!).

I hate (now past tense?) drinking water. It is so bad that I couldn't even tell when I was thirsty anymore because I was perpetually thirsty! I consumed a too little amount of liquids, and when I did it was probably a soda or Powerade/Gatorade.

If y'all gagged at everything you just read, no worries I was gagging as I wrote too!!

What I'm doing to lose weight and kick these deadly habits to the curve:

Basics: I am drinking only water and lots of it. WOW *pat on the back*. . .  yeah I know. But to me this is a pretty big deal. . I have drank more water this week than I probably have in the last month. It finally feels and tastes refreshing, maybe it's the summer heat ;).
*drinks water for one day- why isn't my face completely acne free??*

The foundation of it all is Intermittent Fasting. Many of you have probably heard of this before, but if you haven't- there are two types 5:2 and 16:8. 5:2 refers to restricting your calorie intake for two days out of the week and eating what is normally recommended the other five days. 16:8 is fasting for sixteen hours and having an eight hour window where you consume food normally. I'm doing the latter. I began with a window from 1pm to 8pm, then 1pm to 9pm because I'm an idiot and didn't realize that till 8pm is only seven hours.
I recently changed the window to 11:30am to 7:30pm as my sleep schedule has adjusted and I am getting hungry earlier. I also eat dinner with my family by 6:30pm so it's nice to not have to wait until 1pm the next day to eat again (18+ hrs).


As mentioned before, you are able to eat normal during intermittent fasting, but since I am guilty of overeating I am concentrating on portion control. I am not anal about low calorie intake since I haven't decided to implement it officially, but I am conscious about it and cutting what I can. I also haven't limited carbs, but when you take into consideration the aforementioned it's not very difficult to exclude them or eat less of.

Without diving into the physiological benefits and changes, fasting for me automatically eliminates my late night binge eating. I do catch myself scrolling through pictures of food on reddit, but otherwise, knowing you're not eating at those times really helps you concentrate on what's necessary and not whats in the fridge for you to grab. Because I'm making an effort to eat smaller portions within that time frame, I've eliminated fatty and sugary snacks that would just make it all counterproductive.

What is SUPER surprising about all of this is that fasting has been so easy for me (again it's been about a week doe!) I never imagined that I'd be so okay about not having that glass bottle Coke, my favorite sour watermelon gummies, thai tea, a quick burger when I was hungry, or instant noodles (okay I did shed a tear while I stared at the freshly stocked aisle and put back a bowl I hadn't tried before . . . ugh why am I walking back through these dark moments in my life). I do have the random thought here and then just to grab something sugary or sweet, but nothing close to a craving and certainly not enough to eat or buy it.

So, if I've been able to defeat food. . . everything else should be a piece of cake right?
WRONG. 
Exercising is going to be a real bitch. I've done two days so far . . . and it's just so hard to get out and imagine going out there and doing even basic walking for an hour (okay this sounds pretty silly) but I just know this is going to be my biggest struggle *sigh*. I will definitely keep updates on how THAT goes. If I don't figure it out soon, and there's not much to figure out but put on those running shoes and walk down the street, it's really going to hinder me from reaching my goals.

And speaking about my goals:

Again, I'M NEW. I'm not 100% sure how my body is taking all of this and what my results will be for the first few weeks. I'm in a state of trial and error so I'll be experimenting to figure out what works best for me and what is realistic to achieve. (10-15lbs this month? is that to brave?)

But anyways, I need to be sexy confident in a bathing suit next summer! 
💖

Cue the "wow- I can't believe its been over a month since I posted!"

Guys, I've been "over" being this overweight for like four years now? But I think I always considered myself chubby, still a lil cute. But for the last several months its become almost unbearable. I'm just not happy with my body at all. I don't like to go out, dress up, or see people. I do not take any photos of myself- I haven't existed on a cameral roll for almost two years.

There's been multiple times in the past where I said I'm going to do something about losing weight, but I've never gone through with it. And it's not like I do it for one month and stop, I mean like next day shop for snacks and eat them all in one night. I'm embarrassed to write this- but it's the reality of my life.

I've been "ultra conscious" about losing weight for the last three or four days (w0w, i know lol). Just an hour ago I weighed myself and let's just say I had to do it twice to believe it (I'll be brave enough to reveal later).


A few things have pushed me to have a different approach to my self disgust this time around. First (shallow), Monsta X (my favorite KPOP group) is coming back to Atlanta. I told myself probably exactly a year ago that I wanted to lose weight for the concert. But nothing happened (imagine how much weight I could've lost since then). This time around I got amazing tickets and they include hi-touch. Meaning I will have to face the members and I don't want to do it the way I currently look. Second, I started binge watching clips of TLCs 'My 600lb Life.' I was familiar with the show before, but this time I related to the max. Seeing people so miserable, in pain, and wanting to give up on life really triggered something in me. It's difficult to watch, but the reality is everyone on that show began like me- just slowly putting on those pounds non-stop until they reach 600, 700, 800 pounds. So what would make me any different? Coupled with my family's history of diabetes, cholesterol, and the fact that I take after my grandfather who was very overweight and passed away too early. I just feel it is a wake up call. The third motivation is my Omani mom (host mom 😉) who has lost an incredible amount of weight in the past year. It's seriously so motivating to see someone who is like you in many ways (guilty eating habits included) go so far (her blog). (honorable mention: reddit's progresspic thread! love seeing people's journey).

For now, I'm starting easy with just changing up my diet, eating and sleeping schedule. It's hard to wrap my head around the idea that eating less and a little more (okay, a lot more) healthy could make any difference. It's also hard to wrap my head around how long this will take (I have a lot to lose), but it's now or never and time flies!!! I am too young to be living like this. I want to live and enjoy life.

I decided to write this post because my sister said "are you going to blog about?" I said "no" she said "good" then I was like you know what?