HEARTC♡RE

arlier this week I was feeling up to eating something savory and delicious!! I hadn't had Indian food since Oman, but I wasn't prepared for disappointment. I've had enough (in my opinion) to know what decent flavors are. & I will NOT hesitate to flame your roti, naan, paratha, chapati, whatever IDC!! LOL.
On my main street alone, I have three options so I decided to go for it anyways. Before I left for Oman, there was an Indian restaurant by the name of "Sri Krishna Villas".  I decided to go to there (only two minute drive), I had been twice before but wasn't as familiar with Indian to really know if it was good or not. Anyways, now it is called "Wild Roots of India" (update 10/2016: It's now called Sirata or something) and under completely new different management, new restaurant, nothing to do with the old. On a quick separate note, although I think it has a very prime location, the restaurants and businesses never seem to make it long enough. There have been three or four places before this one and before that the building was on the market for a long time. I don't know what it is about that place that doesn't call people's attention, there are other buildings or suites I know of that it happens to. All I know is that if I have ever have a business I don't want to get stuck with an unlucky spot.

Well anyways, I walked in and was greeted by a young lady who handed me the takeout menu, which was still the old Sri Krishna Villa's. After a minute of eyeing the menu, I was approached by a man to take my order, I ordered what I consider a Melissa ( and an uncultured person's) favorite: chicken tikka masala. Which I still think is a step up from the butter chicken LOL. I REALLLY used to think butter chicken was chicken breast chunks marinated in butter and served that way ahah, please excuse me.

I didn't really give a thought of where I would wait, but they led me to the bar and said they would get me chips and I was like:


they gave me papadum, think; thin, flat, crunchy, tortilla (or tostada). As you can see below. I was really excited because my host parents would order these as an appetizer too. They were really good, I was just disappointed because the ones we usually got were spicy. But, as I said, still good and they brought out four different types of chutney (think Indian salsa? they really vary)


 To begin, I think it had a good amount of chicken. Sometimes they can get a bit stingy and have like overwhelming amount of sauce. Well too much sauce will never be overwhelming, but equal amounts of chicken are appreciated. On the actual chicken, it was suspiciously too cubicle. As you can see in my picture it was like clean cut on the sides, it's hard to explain. Just a looked a bit unnatural. I also think it was a bit overcooked and dry. On the sauce it was the PERFECT amount of spicy, but it was also a bit on the sweet side which I wasn't expecting. The naan was delicious and HUGE. Overall I think it was pretty satisfying, only the chicken itself needed improvement. My siblings had a taste and really liked it and even agreed to go together soon! I know they will really enjoy the chicken lollipops and chicken 65. Which makes me really excited because every time I suggest it to my family they reject the idea. Now to work on my parents hehe.

Anyways, I'm done feeling like a lil food blogger. Feeling hungry.. . .

Everyone knows the now iconic boy band One Direction. I did a post on them back in May of 2012, which you can read here. Zayn Malik left the band in March of last year, much to their fans' dismay. Not long after he called it quits with his fiancee of four years, Perrie Edwards from Little Mix (a fellow X Factor come-up band). With that news, a lot of us Zayn stans were shocked and had the idea that Zayn really was done with it all and ready to start completely fresh.





We knew by then he was going solo with news of him getting a recording contract and being sneaky with producers he was possibly working with. Since then he's coming out with magazine interviews, radio interviews and more importantly he released his first single last week.




PILLOWTALK
PILLOWTALK
PILLOWTALK

At first (first 2 minutes) I wasn't really into it, but this happens with any artist I like. I was so critical every time 1D came out with a new single or album.

Am I going to say this is a complete 360 from the material he made with One Direction? I don't personally think so, I really could see 1d singing segments of the song and taking the lyrics from an R rating to PG-13.

I think my friends are all SO excited because his album, Mind of Mine, comes out in March, it actually comes out on the exact day he announced his departure from 1D.

Zayn has been my longest running fave in One Direction and I am soo so happy that he is doing this for himself. I read his Fader magazine article and he was just so . . . authentic and was more articulate than I had imagined him to be. He is so sweet and I am only hoping the best for him and his career's future.

Quick note, I saw that Harry Styles signed with a separate recording label (oh 1D is on extended "hiatus") and everyone is like SOLO SOLO and tbh I'm like *eyeroll* but everyone deserves a chance and Harry & Zayn wouldn't even be in the same genre (hmm guess that's why 1D didn't quite work out). So I'll be keeping my eyes open for news on him.

I'm really not one for American government, I think political science in general tbqh. It just makes me uncomfortable and I generally don't understand. BUT MAYBE I WOULD UNDERSTAND IF I READ aka read my previous post.

"But how are you an International Affairs major???"

Because there's more to IA than political science, there's history, language, economics (which I also hate I still don't understand how money works lmao), cultural type stuff, etc. Which is all interrelated but I hope you know what I mean.


Anyways, so a few days ago was the Iowa Caucus and also the last day to register to be able to vote in the primaries for my state. So a few things about those two topics.


So for the Republican party, Ted Cruz (please tell me he looks like Miles Teller) won with 27.6% and Trump came in second with 24.3%. Before the Iowa caucus I wasn't really into you know, the predictions and pretty much anything to do with the election in general. But it's crunch time and honestly I do feel a bit on edge, and I feel everything is kind of uncertain at this point.

But back to the results, you know my initial reaction was "Hey! well at least Trump didn't come in first! What would that say about Americans (or Iowans lol)" But, honestly isn't Ted Cruz a little scarier? Like he has an actual political background (LOL) and forget that, Trump has taken on more of a role as an entertainer and is kind of a joke. When he's asked questions about pressing issues he dodges them and comes up with like ?? I can't even explain it, his answers are like "*nothing to do what he was asked* but we need to move forward, we're gonna work on it, we're gonna find the answer, we'll do this together." I saw that he's gotten four times as much media coverage as the next candidate, what does that say about our priorities?

I like this quote: "Mr. Trump is to public service what professional service is to sport: entertaining and ludicrously implausible, a suspension of disbelief for escapists, a crude deception for the gullible."

The Iowa caucus is known for having a hand in predicting which candidate will win the nomination for it's respective party. I'm not sure how true it is or isn't or has been in the past elections, but I am hoping that because Cruz appealed to a very small and distinct demographic of voters in Iowa that he will have a tougher time in other states, but where does that leave us?



On the Democratic side, Clinton took the win, if you can call it that. She won with 49.9% and Bernie trailed soooo closely behind with 49.6%, literally .3% difference. I think a lot of Bernie supporters were over the moon that someone with his background could go head to head against Clinton who has all the big money $$$ supporters, backed by Wall Street, and has a real current presence in Washington. I think this gives Americans who had Bernie in mind the idea that he is in fact a legitimate player and give them the confidence to cast their vote for him.

So do I sound like a Bernie supporter yet? because I am. Now, this goes on to my second topic about registering to vote. I was already registered but posted a quick note on FB letting the new voters that it was the deadline. At the end of it I put a quick note stating we need to put Bernie on the ballot. I feel bad because I am so hesitant to publicly state my support for Bernie. It's kind of a thing that Bernie's dominate supporting demographic is under thirty. I think of his supporters as like the hippie/hipsters, the kind of people you don't take very seriously. And I want to be taken seriously right? I ordered a free Bernie supporter sticker, and I'm like will I put it on my car?? I am legit so nervous and like afraid to be judged lmao, but I need to suck it up and will. :*
But honestly, not that Bernie isn't problematic in any way, I think that my stands on issues are very similar to his and I feel like he's serious and actually gives a fuck?

But like I said, most of his supporters are in the young crowd and I feel if we just take ourselves seriously, we can really make sure that Bernie has a chance. I think the Iowa caucus was the first step and the first piece of evidence that, again, he is a real contender in this race.

Another negative post. So, I (surprisingly LOL) don't have many regrets. Whatever mistakes I've made, I know were part of the learning process, getting older, and life in general. Shit happens. But one thing I always regret, and even now is not reading enough. NOT READING ENOUGH. NOT READING ENOUGH. I mean novels, poems, short stories, news articles, textbooks, magazines, everything. I am trying to think of which I feel I have missed out the most on, but I can't decide. Since I am an IA major, I'm going to go with the news and my university textbooks. You know sometimes you wing it in class? or on exams? I wish I hadn't "winged" it, no matter how well or bad I did, so it wouldn't put me behind in my upper level classes. Like I said, as an IA major (and I'm sure it's the same with other studies) we always get assigned the latest editions of all texts (reason they're so expensive?) and I just 100% feel like I missed out.



I know it's never to late get started, but still makes me feel SAD. I just feel I would be 100 times more knowledgable and therefore be able to hold some slight amount of intellect. Which I'm not sure if I've mentioned but that being a proper intellectual is like my dream (and no, not like being a world renowned philosopher but having the ability to have an above elementary level discourse).

But anyways, If you're just starting university or in high school please read. Or listen to podcasts, watch the news, do something else than stay on social media all day. Honestly, I hate the people who shit on millennials about our phones and technology etc etc. I think they're bitter salty sour sweet lmao whatever, but I think it's not about putting our phones down per say but balancing what we spend our time on. And this 100% applies to me, I have like so many news apps on my phone but the ratio of how much time I spend on those apps compared to social media ones are like 1:45 LOL. And it's not to say you can't get the topics of substance on social media, on the contrary, I think FB, Twitter, Tumblr, IG are great outlets to get a quick synopsis of whatever current event or topic. But, I do think that we need to then take the next step to find more credible and legitimate sources. There are so MANY articles I see shared on FB that come from like these super whack homemade websites, I don't know how people can believe or maybe they just see the headline, share, and not even click on the source.



Also, we can't always trust mainstream media and allllll the news outlets we come across but it gives us a start and you can read multiple sources to see which one you believe is less biased and doesn't have a specific agenda. And again I think reading the facts and gaining that knowledge allows you to begin to thinking critically and objectively, thus giving you the ability to come to your own conclusions and positions without depending on whatever happens to come your way.

I am thinking that I am obsessed with this idea, because being knowledgable and having an intellectual capacity is something I value. SO I have to wrap my head around the fact that there's people who literally don't give a shit, and I'm not saying it's a bad thing (or am i??). It's just something that's hard for me to process since it's not my style. Then again, do I really value it? Because I obviously don't put out the effort necessary.

Still, can you imagine how collective a society we would be if everyone took like at least an hour a day to catch up on the latest news? Like how much more progressive would we be if the average American wasn't so ignorant? (I count myself in the ignorance). Well I'm going to take back my ignorant American comment, and only speak about my personal experience. And in that experience, I feel the people who land in my demographic and community lack introspective and general awareness. Those who loooook like they have a clue, and are the ones who seem to influence our demographic the msot, come across to me as pseudo intellectuals. TBH, I don't want to jump and say that's always the case and if anything they're doing more than I have ever attempted. I hope I am wrong, but from what I have seen these are my experiences and it does discourage me at times.
BUT, I am part of this demographic and I crave change so how many more feel the same?

I love how this started about me being upset at myself than I just come and shit on everyone. I may just be using my own sentiments of my role and projecting them onto everybody else. Nonetheless, I am sure everyone believes there is room for improvement.

On improvement: sort of what is in the little paragraph above goes back to a post I wrote back in March for last year (click here, & read the 2nd paragraph). That paragraph is more my personal solution to what I just elaborated in above. I think it has to be grassroots led though less political but will gradually (and inevitably) take on that element. And who better to mobilize it, but it's own people? We who understand our communities' deep underlying problems and have the proper means to communicate with each other and the even smaller sects within? Rather than someone coming from a distant position who may not have the proper tools to really understand and can have conflicting interests?


I have been really vague on which of my communities falls specifically with what I'm saying, but I think it's better that way. If you click the March post I linked then you'll see. I've been ALL over the place, but one thing just leads to the other and it's hard to stop. I hope I didn't sound like a dumbass, but these are my thoughts for the night.

I am sure there are 100,000 sides to this that I cannot see ATM so as I learn more and understand what the causes, outcomes, obstacles, etc are, I will write another blog post that will either back this one up or completely discredit everything I have just said. I have learned that that is many times the case. This is why I am writing it on my blog as personal thoughts as opposed to saying it's a fact. BTW This was supposed to be a quick statement on my regrets of not reading more in my first few years of uni but I went a bit far. 

Tl;dr-

• I regret not reading what has been made available to me & using it as a form of self improvement
• I understand that it's not everyone's cup of tea and not everyone has a desire to read and learn ideas that don't directly concern them (or even those that should)
• Millennials (and hey, older gen too) take advantage of the sources available to you, learn to balance entertainment and topics of substance
• Would we see all around improvement if all Americans dedicated more time to reading current events and other sources that contributed to self improvement (as opposed to our usual vapid content)?
• I see lack of awareness, that I believe comes with the same lack of education/reading within my community, I believe it has harmful consequences and what can we do at a local level to move forward.

Hi all, I am so sad I didn't keep posting as I wish or finished making some of the posts I had lined up.

To catch you up, I've been in Atlanta since the 12th and began university classes the next day. So that's where I'm at now.

It's 4am and I really want to sleep, but it's too late and I have an 8am class and I will wake up worse if I sleep now. So I'm going to distract myself for the next few hours.

I am really going through something I'm not sure what it is. Somedays I feel so positive and motivated for the future, but other days I feel so distressed and fearful. I think it's such a contradiction, my motivation is the catalyst to the detrimental thoughts. I have thoughts for example, I want to do this. Then I think of what it takes to get there and then I think "well that's not really plausible" then chip at my goal.

I don't know if it's fakeass senioritis where I just want university to be over with (I am so done) and kind of be away from that particular responsibility BUT only to be catapulted into another. So what is the point? And then I think of like my after university career/job (career pls) and I feel so inadequate and under qualified. Like majorly. I've wanted to blog this for so long, but I feel it is way too personal?

I would never want my friends to feel this way, so why do I wallow in self pity? I know I have potential, but I just haven't found my niche and I am so desperate.

Can I turn this into a ~sad~ blog LOL
As I said it's 4am so I will most likely regret this post but YOLO it is how I'm feeling ATM, so I think it's quite valid.